Coming up on a big birthday "milestone". Following the example of previous men in my family, heading toward the halfway mark on my journey through life. I've done a ton and have so many reasons to be grateful... looking at pictures... so many great memories. I'd say unlike most people, my childhood was not the time I look back on the most fondly; it was more my 20s and 30s that brought me joy. But the fact that I had those two productive, great decades doesn't make me nostalgic for the past.
But what now? Life is busy, challenging but also comfortable. It's been 6 years since I worked a job in an office. My kitchen, dining room and basement desks have been my "office" since 2009. I've come to enjoy the quiet, listening to the sounds the outdoors make or the sounds my house makes. It's never fully silent.
There's so much more I want to do. I think of my grandfather building a house... what it would be like to drive by a house you built. I think of the places I've not been yet. I've been nearly everywhere in the USA at this point other than the Pacific Northwest and New Orleans - those are the last two. Maybe write another book? It's less likely at this point. I've accomplished much in writing, more than I ever expected in music. I've become a father - an unending challenge but one I'm comfortable with. I've even started to paint (not good at this yet.. but I have time).
I might want to build something that's going to outlive me.
These upcoming years are mostly ones (until the end) where I will control the outcome. But also I will experience limitations I've never felt before, be it need for sleep, lack of physical strength or mental strain. Anger.. the great motivator for me for so long... it can't be that way. I remember everything but it's a curse when I remember the mistreatment by others.
God give me the strength to enjoy life, be proud of myself. Have pride in who I am.
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